How do we still prioritise ourselves when the shit hits the fan?
I wrote a post on my socials earlier this week reflecting on the constant push and pull I think we can experience and the feelings that can go with that.
I talked about the importance of still prioritising ourselves in these moments but the struggle of trying to do that and feel like its ok.
Here is the post in question and I’ve also added some things that I do to try and help me in these moments that you may find helpful.
When we have to pivot and the feelings that go with it
As Mums we are constantly having to adapt and change. We do this in big and small ways but the big ways are for another post.
It’s the small daily ways I have been thinking about this week.
When things change, don't go to plan, go out the window, there is a lot of pivoting we need to do and ‘going with it’.
Pivoting, changing your plans, not doing things you wanted can feel disappointed, upset, frustrated, angry, resentful. It’s completely understandable. Of course we feel these things when everything goes out the window and you had your whole week planned out perfectly and now its all gone to pot (it hasn't all gone to pot, it can just feel like this in moments).
Is it ok though?
And that's ok. It's ok to feel these things I think.
Can I move on with my life now?
Well not quite…
I’ve been thinking about how we still prioritise ourselves in these moments?
How do we accept this is the way it has to be today, right now etc
How can we be ok with whatever we feel around it
But how do we also make sure we can try and still prioritise ourselves in these moments?
When it feel like everyone else's needs are more important and are a priority
When you got a sick kid, a shit load of work to do, food to cook, dishes to wash, bills to pay and nobody to take over how do you do you?
A few tips for doing you
A few things I try to do that may help. Feel free to pick bits that work for you and ignore those that don't;
Accept where I am and how I feel about it. Accept I have to pivot, plans change, it feels uncomfortable and I’m disappointed if I don’t get to do things I planned.
Carve out small periods in the day to do something I need. And I mean small, be realistic. If 5 minutes is all you can manage, so be it. That is better than none.
Have a list of go to things for your 5 minutes a day (or however long you can manage). Otherwise you will spend the 5 minutes thinking about how to spend the 5 minutes.
Check in with yourself even if its a couple times a day and ask yourself what you need. Might just be a glass of water or to sit on the toilet for a few minutes!
Flex the boundaries. When you’re overwhelmed, stretched and struggling say ‘no’ where you can and yes where you need to.
The above is easier said than done I know so letting people know where you’re at and how you’re feeling will help people understand your ‘no’s’ or other boundaries.
Letting people know will also increase your chances of getting a bit of support if that is available to you and helpful.
Forget the small stuff, nobody will die if you don’t do the washing today. As long as you have clean undies, you can turn the kids ones inside out - they won’t know!
You’re doing better than you think.
Have I missed anything? Leave a comment if there are things you do different in these moments that help you.